Happiness Waxes and Wanes

I’ve recently been thinking a lot about happiness. Overall, I would consider myself a happy person. I feel grateful that I am able find a space of enjoyment, and appreciation for the simplicity of life. The peaks and valleys of life I found to be really scary to endure. I wanted to feel the highs so powerfully, but I was frightened of the lows, and where they would leave me.

I feel especially happy during the summer months – outside, doing the things I enjoy the most, and doing them with those I cherish. But as winter arrives as it does each year, I am reminded of how differently I feel during the colder months. It feels much like a hibernation, turning inwards, and spending more time at home, avoiding the bitter cold, especially during those long, dark nights.

However, instead of using maladaptive behaviors, I still find happiness, but it isn’t in doing the things that usually make me come alive. It’s become increasingly more apparent to me how cyclical life is, ebbing and flowing with happiness, or on the other side of the coin, sadness. Emotions arrive, then they depart. But it is certain that they will, sooner or later, arrive again. I have begun to enjoy the winter time, as it allows me to rest much more than I usually do in the summer months.

I have recently begun to think of emotion as a type of muscle. You can strengthen it, and choose to use it heavily at certain times. But other days, that muscle just feels weaker than usual. It can’t be manipulated in its usual way. Having the physical awareness of knowing when your body is tired and let it rest reflects those winter months to me. I like to think of this in terms of energy protection. Some days, we feel like we can take on the world, and other days, someone looking at us the wrong way can send us into an emotional spiral. The more we begin to strengthen our ability to protect our energies, and disconnect from others attachments, the more authentic we can arrive to each and every day.

I have gained the most from introspective days of winter. Self-reflection of my soul has shown me how to appreciate the greater powers in my life. I see myself as I am, not who I wish to be. Winter allows for me to ground within myself, and to ensure that how I act, and how I think are congruent. I have seen what I want for myself, and my future personal life. I can see who else I want to share that future with, and maybe if that person isn’t currently present in my life, I can manifest by simply being aware of it.

Winter allows for me to look within myself, and to find happiness and wakefulness in a space that isn’t the usual things that give me joy. It allows for my emotional high of summer to taper off, to find and even keel or perhaps a bit of a lull before preparing for the seasons to change once again.